Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
