Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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