Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
