Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Even my vagina gasped.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
