please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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