i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
