To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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