I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
