Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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