I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize