i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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