Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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