Dual....:-)
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
