Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
