we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
