He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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