I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
