im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The beer is more important than you right now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
