So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
