Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My penis needs a shock collar
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
