i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
