The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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