No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just google imaged poop.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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