return my video game
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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