His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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