And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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