You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
COCAINE IS GR8
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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