I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
