WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it glows. i had to have it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
