Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
