I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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