p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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