when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
