You made me cry and you don't even care
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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