Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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