she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
