So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
