My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
