I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He has the fingertips of a God
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