9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When did angry sex become our thing?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize