You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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