Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
