Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
