i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
