garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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