As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
