I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize