I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
