I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
