dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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