Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
