You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
