I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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