This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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