My hand turned me down
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
