It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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