They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
