dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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