Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
