Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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