They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
