Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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