capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize