Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I've blown a few things in my day
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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