i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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