If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
