Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
