you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
