Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
