this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
