He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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