maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
