I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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