dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
