the new term for farting is butt boxing.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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