i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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