I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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