My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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