So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
