Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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